So there I was, sipping my third cup of coffee at 1 PM. I can already feel my attention slipping away towards some other damn thing.
The other day I said I’d (try to) write every day—yet here I am a few days later. Easy there, tiger, you can only achieve so much.
Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, I’d rather not—I’d rather rot. And this is what ejects out of my fingers with no target in mind. It’s like standing with a drawn bow, blindfolded, and not actually having a target to hit. I whisper to whatever god may stand high above me in the clouds and hope something meaningful comes out.
But does it have to mean anything? Does there have to be a point to these small posts? No, it doesn’t have to. But a meaning does make a reading better. After all, I’m just typing the very first thing that comes to mind. Shit, if I was reading this I would’ve stopped reading by the second or third sentence.
This month is National Novel Writing Month. I had a dose of medication and wrote somewhere around 2500 words in an hour and felt pretty good about that. I haven’t touched it since. I wrote around 9000 words this summer for some shit story akin to The Rum Diary. One of my favorite quotes from The Rum Diary is “I’ve got no voice, I don’t know how to write like myself.”
A lot of young writers face this dilemma (me included). A lot of young writers also idolize Thompson (me included). I’ve spent so long trying to write like my favroite writers instead of just writing like myself—but I don’t know how. It’s all so common. I find blogs from other writers and their posts often reflect mine—spread out posts that mention they don’t know how to write, just haven’t found that one bit of push that would bring them into the groove.
“A man is the sum of his experiences,” Thompson once said. It’s hard to be yourself with little experience on hand. Even now, a word document is minimized on my dock for a short essay on why I would be a good fit for a NASA internship. That’s life experience, right?
I guess we’re all just waiting for the right story to come along. Maybe we should start searching instead.